Real Estate Hotline Script

Let's look at the script for a recorded telephone hotline message describing a home for sale.  Advertisements for the home include a code number.  Callers enter that code when accessing the property hotline to hear information about the home.  

The client was looking to make the message more interesting and to evoke an emotional connection with the caller.  Another goal was to reference the status of the real estate market in the area and reinforce how the company could help in the transaction. 

The Before Version:

This is a very well-kept 3-bedroom, 2-bath home with lots of extra features.  It has marble floors, cathedral ceilings, and a cozy fireplace in the living room.  The kitchen has a walk-in pantry and both convection oven and microwave.  Nice views from the backyard and the master bedroom.  This home is in a gated community that has great association amenities.  Other extras include custom redwood deck, attached garage with entry to the home, and air conditioning.  This one won't last long!  Press 5 and leave your name and number to make an appointment to see this home before it gets away.

My Comments on the Rewrite:

The hotline message time ranged from 60-70 seconds in length.  In rewriting, my intent was to make the most effective use of those seconds by including the following elements:  

• Captivating headline/opening statement

• Descriptive copy -- helping the caller visualize themselves in the home

• More personal tone 

• Stronger call to action and closing

The After Version:

Come home to splendid living space and panoramic views. This two-story home has been impeccably maintained and is waiting for a caring new owner like you. The interior is enriched with amenities like marble floors, cathedral ceilings, and air conditioning. Exterior niceties include a gated community, direct access 2-car garage, and association pool, spa, and clubhouse. The comfortable floorplan features 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, formal dining room, and living room with fireplace. Even with a growing inventory of homes, we expect this buyer’s delight to get lots of attention and offers. You need an expert to help close the deal you deserve. Let us help. Leave your name and number following this message. We’ll arrange a personal viewing and show you the backyard garden area, custom redwood deck, and spectacular views of Yorba Linda and Anaheim Hills. We’ll tour the large master suite with a walk-in closet and Valley view, and see the kitchen equipped with extras like a walk-in pantry, convection oven and microwave. Act quickly to call this one home!  Press 5 now and leave your name and number. We’ll call you back straight away.